Thursday, February 8, 2007

How to Annoy people

How To Annoy People In An Elevator :
--Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers who attept to cross you.
--Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
--Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
-- If anyone brushes against you, whisper to them "was it good for you too?"
--Try to purchase an article of clothing from the person next to you.

Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates :
--Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 ft. Sigh relaxingly
--Say, "Now how did that get in there?"
--Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
--Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
--Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

Ways To Annoy People In The Computer Lab :
--Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor.
Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
-- Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "NO!!! They've found me!" and bolt.
-- Play "Pong" for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
-- Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
--Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

Ways to Annoy People At An Amusement Park :
-- Offer people money for their spots in line...MONOPOLY money.
-- Ask the ride attendant if you cannot ride because you are under the influence of herione, marijuana, crack, and every other drug you can think of.
-- Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.
-- Begin to cry when they start the merry-go-round and have them stop it because you're too scared to go all the way.
-- Advertise for a theme you're not at.

Ways To Annoy People On The Subway :
-- Where a Burger King crown and tell everyone that they must bow before royalty. Hit those who don't.
-- Jump up and down muttering "gotta go, gotta go" then frown and say "oops."
-- Ride the train while drunk....During rush-hour. Extra points if you throw up.
-- Turn your headphones up to 120 decibels and then complain loudly that they just don't make headphones loud enough anymore.
--Ask people for directions to the station you just came from. i.e. If you came on the train at X station, ask how to get to X station.

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