THINGS YOUR WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND WON'T SAY

Here are some things you probably won't hear your girlfriend/wife say, or maybe you will hear her say some.. but I'm sure not ALL!!

1. I'll swallow it all.... I love the taste.

2. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for ya.


3. God...if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!


4. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.


5. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.


6. Christ, not the frigging malls again, come on let's go to that new strip joint.

7. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, chicken wings, and have my friend Heather over for a threesome.


8. I understand fully...our anniversary comes every year for Christ's sake, you go hunting with the guys, and it’s a wonderful stress reliever.

9. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's day thing and buy yourself new clubs.

10. Your mother is way better than mine.

11. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

12. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?

13. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

14. I love it when you play golf on Sundays, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday too.

15. I'll be out painting the house.

16. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses.

17. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

18. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

20. You’re so sexy when you're hungover.

21. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

22. That was a great fart! Do another one!

23. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?

24. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy.

25. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?



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