Sunday, March 18, 2007

Dividing the goods

A married couple are driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles
per hour. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife suddenly looks
across at him and speaks in a clear voice. "Darling," she says. "I know
we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly
increases his speed to 45 mph. The wife speaks again. "I don't want you
to try and talk me out of it, she says, "because I've been having an
affair with your best friend, and he's a far better lover than you are."

Again the husband stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly
and slowly increases the speed to 55. She pushes her luck. "I want the
house," she says insistently.

Up to 60 mph.

"I want the car, too," she continues.

65 mph.

And," she says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and
the boat."

70.

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This
makes her a wee bit nervous, so she asks him: "Isn't there anything you
want?"

The husband at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've
got everything I need." he says.

"Oh, really?" she inquires, "so what have you got?" Just before they
slam into the wall at 75 mph, the husband turns to her and smiles;
"The airbag."